fallen leaves fallen again
dead and denied
 as the summer sifts through tainted fingers
as one such knew such freedom

one goes into mind and mind set
just to discover the hidden world
of what can know
who can possible know

nobody has been to heaven and back
to tell the stories of what happens
in real life heaven
or even to tell if there is such a place

i'm looking for peace
 in my trails of travels
i finish last
all the time this life

whats in this life
 i don't understand
 i fail to grasp
 the rope that holds me here

 it dosen't make much sense to me
 these days
 i just wander
 around and around

searching for
 some one to claim myself
for me
 as i am
 no mater waht

sittin in the dark waitin for the love to come home. havent written in a while and i don't know why really. ive been alive been doing my own thing. cant seem to stay alone very long. its not he thing for me. so thats why i am located in saskaton of all places now. im with this woman. shes no girl. shes really hot amazing and sweet. she dose everything for me. she loves me. thats whats counts. she drove me to edmonton this past weekend to say goodbye to the people who i thought were friends once upon a time. well guess not anymore. so fuck them and fuck the rest of the world. i cant be reminded of the past. coz it hurts too much.

........... leave me alone. again.

six o clock on the dot. dont know where to go. what to do again. as always , nothing changing around here. reall.y well theres so much. decisions and roads . paths and places. ditch one life compleatly and entirely to chase after a compleately brand new life. unlike any has ever known. just fall off one path and into a compleately different. one. perhaps i wont get to shamb this year. i could be in school for all anyone knows. one last attempt to actually make something. anything really of myself. ya so im desperate to make something of myself. and im really ready to try anything. edmonton just dosent seem to pulling that off for me. it was good for the drug scene and the party animal and the crazy shit. but really when you think abou t it never really held a real job i hate working as it is so i much rather just go and grow up already. coz im bored of the party. i've been hrowing up at expedential speed all my life. well why wouldn't i want to continue on. i said i grew up fast as a kid and again as a teenager now im an adult and the chance to do that is here once again. i want to i need to i have to follow it. its the way of mylife. growing at 10X rate. i got told the other day i was thought to be about 27. thats older than cassie one of my bffs. well thats compleately true. i feel a whole lot older than i really am i aim stuck again hating that im 21. i wish i was older all the time i always have i always wished i was older than i really am becasue i dont realte to those some call peers. i felt 21 when i was honestly like 17 or 18. or younger. like really i feel honest to god i feel like i should be like 25 or 26 at least. perhaps acording to life advantages and disadvantages and bumps and grinds and experiences and excursions. but anywyas. point is im ready to move on i thik. to carry on something solid and foundational. something real and honest ad pure. maybe this is it. the one where i dont need anyone else. i heard it happen to people before. but i also hear a lot of shit about love and i dont know what to expect really but i think i got my self in an amazing thing right here. maybe ill be all old school and like find my mate when im 21 for ever..... you knever really know. like hti s girl is a little of everything i always liked about girls and women in genral. its amazing what i feel inside and for er . sometimes i think its compleatley unreal. and i compleately underestimated myself and surely dont deserve this. like i dont want to say to much but im really happy and i got alot going for me and i think i might just want to disappear for a while to to start a new from ground up i always said from ground up i have to start. and theres always steps to that and in a relationship you have to compromise and get long and all that. and its easy and good and i like it. oits a challenge. i heard it once called like a vedo game. i am very sure im on a good thing and allthat. so baby steps as they say and and one step at a time they also say that. one foot in fron of the other. it will be okay and alright. maybe its a good thing to just vanish for a while. not like anyone would notice. but wheni return ill be beter. thats my goal to get better in all ways. and mostly to gain insight. and be awesome. but 10X!!!

i want to scream then i want a hug

drifted. drifting. drafting. floating away. away from all things. burning bridges. running away. burrowing inside. lost. lost inside me. my own madness my own sacrifices. my own vices. burrowing to save myself. to hide. to escape. escapism tactics work , only sometimes. unknown where to go and where to turn. most likely un known how to mark my own step. really need to make my own thing but unsure what that even is anymore. don't know where to go and how to turn it over. just don't know. lost confused. blank. static noise. nothing . faintly alive, barely there. silent, not deadly., but dead inside.
you wouldn't know.. this society dosen't understand how to handle a sad, depressed, overly emotional person when there not used to it. there used to happy bubbly awesome likable jazz, not this sad fell into a deep hole one day/ and needs a hand getting out. maybe i need a hand. maybe i dont want to ask. and i dont want  you to answer but deep inside everyone knows im lying. i would just  rather burst into flames. and forget about it. sorry but that's a litle harsh. i know i haven't written in a while. and i don't. i recently bought two journals. i haven't written a mark. i just look at them. what am i suppose to say. how sad and depressed i am and how i long nothing and want to do nothing so i do nothing each day; everyday its nothing. just plain crap. ...it makes my hand hurt. i remember, i wrote everyday while in b.c and i made sure to write, even if it was just about me watching t.v. i need to write its. my outlet. even if i can't write prose right now. i can't just be silent; really. kind of self destructive. in a sense. like who gives a shit. i've thought of some pretty self destructive shit last few days so i kinda made a habit of trying to be stoned and blank and or sleeping so i dont act on the kinds of stuff i think about i wont say coz i dont want an intervention. so instead ill just not act on my decisions and be the strong on in my own battle of wits. but im frantic and im drowning in my own self unknown what to say to myself.  how to dig myself up again. just keep beating me down. it seems easier than starting from nothing for the how many times now. kind of sad if you think about it. kinda like i have all  these hopes and dreams but i can never make the right first steps. to really get up and out of this hole i so much find myselff in too much too often. without anything. over and over again. and again. how long till i figure the worldd out. and how it works so i can be the rich one the one who can afford something my own place my own way. wwithout relying on other people. other stuff other everything. what happened to my sense of responsibility and respect and my independence. its lost thru the cracks. cant seem to find anymore. fresh out. need to figure out a way to figure it out. everyone can lecture me and tell me there advice but really i dont know how to take it and how to take anything. my best friend yelled at me the other day; i kno, it was absolutely terrifying. i never want to see him again coz i knew i was in deep shit and i feel like crap and shit and all of the above and i just feel crappy and i know there pissed off at me and im pissed off at me coz there pissed off at me and i cant handle it now we . i and burning my bridges everywhere its horrible. i want to help it but i cant...   we aint talking for god knows how long. just boom coz i chose to be and gry and melt in it and then it went overboard and i kno that. it shouldn't of went overboard that much just been a simmer. but i am overly emotional and i can't figure out. feeling destroyed. hits to my ego and emotions all over the place. things just hurt. i want to be alone so i dont have to feel the hurt of being scolded and yelled at or even talked to anymore. just crave silence but silence isn't silence anymore. just need to focus on something. anything . unknowing. dont know. feels numb. feels unreal. just need to find grip in an weightless world. blurrrr

furious,.

the silence is killin me. yet is really isnt silence. its a low humming of machinery as it cranks and cackles in this small space. cant hardly take it anymore. ready to go absolutely crazy. am going crazy. cant actually do the things i supposed to. cant focus. cant find motivation. all the thoughts in my head are louder than ever. i almost cant take it. i need to zen and focus. cant focus. falling asleep. cant even get a cup of coffee. cant do anything paralyzed in a trance of silence a nd noise clashing together. its unbearable. torture toa  soul like me. have nothing to do. cant do it. freaking out. need to focus. aurgh going in circles cant think. cant feel anytmore. people are the last thing i need to see. im freaking annoyed at life about now. you cant take this away from me. i needs it all the time. all the time.  this silence of my thoughts is dkilling me just as much. coz my voices gett ired of each other after a while and simmer down then the humm of the machines just intimidates me savagely. like a mouse in a cage i cant get out i cant do anything. tell me why you are doing this what did i ever do to you.

they've taken my music away from me. how dare they. how can they. some head guy just walks in a says no more music or you fail your mystery shops and your inspections even if you had a good score. like how the fuck is one supposed to find motivation in an environment like that. i just couldnt do it. worst 8 hours of my entire life. and my techno wouldnt to the same hing as having my music. like what did i do to deserve that. to me. the music helps me work and i hope they fuckking got the point. that im just tired of this. you dont take that one thing away from me. anything i can handle. no smoke breaks or more work. but take my music i will nto work i will nto doing a thing. i cant find the motivation to. not at all. i refuse. i hope you get it petro. or ima quit on you and then what are you gunna do. nothin coz you cant. you fail petro for keeping your employees happy and centent. this isnt contentment this is a lash out and a revloution! i dislike  your decisions reverse them for everyone involved becasue im not the only one here who hates this. everyone dose. it isnt fair. >.<

weird odd dream.

i was at work. i was locked in the back room with somebody i dont remember but there were bomber and robbers coming in thru the door hundred they made us hostage. but then i swithced to a different episode but samme place when i was behind the counter gettting prepped for some drill that was going to happen then it wasnt a drilll it was actually real and we didnt kno what to do. there was a huge vehical backed inside the store with a rounded edge. i dont remember much but there were people i knew, the color red, my place of work, in the back room and behind the counter.  and people in black. now its getting choppy as i try and reember it. i hate dreaming i never remember and my dreams are so fucked up and weird.

then i was in a house and someone was wating to get rid of my moles...

i hate this.

i fuckin hate being sick.
i hate having a chest cold worse then a head cold. actually ihate them both.
 chest colds give you the worst plhem in your chest and the worst cough.
and head colds give you the most stuffy nose and head and sinus pain. its like i go back and forth
 between them  all the time

i dont want to be sick anymore
 whreres the people who come to look after me!!

 i remember this time time i was sick, douggy came over and made me soup and watched some t.v with me.
i know some other people who stay far away and dont bother to come lookin for me
 even if i am dying like i am right now

 i kno how to look after myself
 but do i want to. no

 i want someone to come over with some homemade soup medicine and a few movies. and a box of kleenex.
i want someone to come tuck me in and drive me to the drug store for new meds. i want someone to feed me cough meds. i want someone to put on a movie for me. i just turn into the biggest baby when im sick. i get alll kinds of grumpy and all kinds of stupid too. and then when i dont get what i want i freak. this is me freaking out writing this blog entry. and no one cares either. i can rant and rave and ill just get poor jazz. poor jazz. blah blah fuckin blah. well fuck you world and your cold weather changes your gunna end up killing me eventually.

eff off.

need distraction.

so i need to sign out fro that part of life right now. i think this might be a good itme to just go forward in other parts. i guess ive been distracted just as much as i can be a procrastinator. this is why i never get anywhere with this no getter attitude . i need a go getter attitude. some say im relaxed. can i be to relaxed? too laid back just enough to really not give a fuck. like i really feel like that. i wanna go there i wanna proceed in my life. into my hopes a dreams and whatever i say i wanna do. but its work and it starts with the littlest annoyingest things. math grade 10 and 11. cramtime. then i could make it into school. but then i gotta figure out who pays for that and how im gunna make that. sooo... ya i need to stop livng in the now right now and try and focus on some plannage and maybe a little more directions. i have the idea i just need the propeller. just fade away to black for a moment and try. it really hard because i dont think like that usually. but i guess i have to learn something and grow up some more. i am 21. i should be gettting a life already. eventually i can actually move out of dads house an into my on place. that would be a good thing. and then get my licence and a car and get all set up with a standard savings. and just put money away put money away put money away at what ever i end up doing. i gotta really get a job now. im on it already. i guess im gunna have to go out and apply like old fashioned. but where to go is ther question. see i cant think of whos hiring coz i sit at home and do nothing. well not nothing i try to attempt some things. daily it affectively gets done. im sucha a major prcrastinator. its like my worst trait. all my life. taking forever to get things done. school was bad for doing my homework and not handing it in or in late. really affected lots of my marks. but now i gotta go back to whatever and do math all over again from grade 9 up. i apparently took the not academic math course. or stupid math and not the logical ethical smart math like. umm i pretty sure that wath like math 10A-20A-30A and 10P-20P-30P was the really smart math. like crazy super smart, they got there own write in textbook that was big and red and huge and filled with problems. looked like hard shit. like ihate math already. theres a reason i didnt take it. i guess i thought i didnt need it but i cant even like multiply very well never mind divide. dont get me started. so now theres an online course for 480 some dollars. dad said he would cover me and i could pay him back. well great. i cant pay hime back if i have no job. oh ya i quit the wis job. well i didnt offically quit i stopped showing up. i should go return my shirt. with a vaild excuse for not showing up. maybe another job. hopefully. maybe. heh ya well . so i cant exactly feel right about asking for a school loan with out a steady job right now. so im working to find a job. the hellhole was going to look open. then it hit a brick wall. i seemed to have been pushed outside for a while not quite sure how long. so. .. i suppose i should not talk about that. anyways. ....ya well ....*^*work on finding a job. work on getting into school. drown myself in trying to do math. for a while just hermit myself for a while. maybe ill be okay with having  my phone cut of for a month just to give that extra cusshin. then if people need to talk to me they can come to see me.
perhaps it time for some space for myself as well. im alright mentally. im strong and steady right now. so just branch off for a while. make yourself noticable but dont say much dont do much dont stay for long. even when or if they tell you its alright. alright. thought we were not saying anything it dose not bother you so make sure it dosent bother you. geez. your acting like a fool really. your stonger than this. just breathe and relax. its nothing. anyways. back to life. you need money asap. your gunna run out of a bus pass. then what. you need to go hostile now. game faces on and ready to  tackle el targeeto. gung forth no glory no restrictions. get mean. get nasty. time to break through and rise up agian. break your ownself if needed just toget here. do whatever you need be. scars are the memories for ever you have some . got room for more. just relax. no big deal. you look like crap. bah look at this your talking to yourself via computer. what is that. then your gunna post it on el internet unknowingly who actually reads this crap. probably no one. so really it isnt a big deal after all. at least you can write  about feelings and emotions and stuff you never would say in the daylight face to face. to anyone  and feel comfortable doing it at the same time . coz really your just putting brain to publish. and not saying anything. so it works for you. why dont i talk much i often wonder. like i really have nothing to say. no comments. no notes. no great ideas. seriously. like for fuckin real. i try to make a conversation it goes nowhere. well i have a good personality. and i fun sense of humor. but really  in reality i need two other people to make it come out. .... no one really knows i have 2 voices upstairs sometimes. i need to just be a hermit. and realize i dont think im gonna go anywhere. well i might. but i dont kno. i gotta figure out how to be more socially comfortable. its gotten so bad recently. like its sucks. i hate groups of people i do not kno or feel comfortable with. just get all stiff and shit. i just sh.u.t up so fast. it sucks,, i dont say anyting. i get all nervous when i do need to say something. socail settings are harder and harder all the time. becasue more often than not im on my own. and sobe.r well if im on anything else its a diff story. depending on whatelse is out there. but anyways. theres nto much jobs out here. there not much jobs anywhere. see my problem. i tink in the end im the one getting fucked over. again and again and again and again. over and over and over. going nowhere. notime fast. no. what do i do.my life is on el loop. i got nothing. hmm. now what. now i think i need a plan to go off of. ill get back to you on what i get if i get anything. for you really are just my opendiary.

no title.

well that explains alot.
ya i can give you space.
all the space you need
 i'll revoke my assistance
and fade into black.
 forget i was ever here.
go on your merry life
 you can have it all
 ill revoke my hearts calling
 ill defend my own
i never said it would easy
 i never said it be fun
who knew i was havin fun
now shit just got real
and you need to break it off with me
so why dont you already.
better you break me then to break myself
 it would mean more. in the end
i would'nt understand either way.
ill have to walk for a long time
ill have to escape to a state of secrecy
to a state of silence.
so much you will start to miss me
by that time i would hope i ca move on.
i can move forward
 brush it off
 like it  never mattered to me
when it dose. becasue i loved her.
i told her last night.
 was it too much
 did she even get it
im at fault i should just fuck off already
my life is a complication to the maximun.
 like nothing is ever enough
 there's always gotta be something.
well i let you be.
 ill let you die
 i kill myself
before things get started.
 11 am im gone
never to be heard from again
 want me back.
 they always do
but for now ill stand in the corner
invisible and silent
im sorry im in the way.

well now. i need to vent . write. draw. eat smoke. pray maybe. im not sure. all of the above. hmmm. am i getting anywhere. or am i really going anywhere. one is not sure. i cant afford to dig another hopeless failure in my own grave. right here right now. but im not sure. thats the problem with not knowing the future. and never regretting the past. it catches up with you while you loungin on the couch. just sittin there chillian. then you realize youve been on the ocuch kickin the crap jobs for 5 years already. where are you going. what are you doing. time to get serious. you have all these plans and ideas but no motivation to go forward. my lazy factor has kicked in. i applied to college got rejected. gotta try again but need a new job. need the cash im gunna be strapped for sure. already not gettin very far. had a breat fire under my ass. got these ideas and know where to go. but how am i gunna get here when i gotta pull strings farther each time i step forward. i gotta take 2 math classes asap to be registered by april. thats the deadline. its already feburary nearly. i need to buck up and shut up and figure out my path. i gotta learn to plan a little farther ahead in my life so im not like running around never knowing. i wanna go to school now. im ready. pretty sure. i can handle this then be on to 2 years of radio broadcasting then get  a job at a radio station for a couple years then get enough money to pay for the 9 month program at HiT. it will happen and it shall.

well i need to write for a while. i need to figure out some shit. i got going on here. as you may of read i have a interest in this girl who is a friend of mine. you may also kno her husband also is like one of my best friends of the moment. well that's all great and awesome. He pushed us together alot. and well i apparently have the ability to charm people out of their pants. well that was how long ago i started writing about that. like way back in October she admitted she had a crush on me. and i went with it. i pushed it farther and farther to see how far we can get. well i broke all the barriers down single handled and now as of January 3rd we are an item. i was accepted into the 3 way relationship by him first then her not long after. well that's all great and awesome. i got me a hot new gf. and i get to keep my best Friend. in the end everyone wins. but dose everyone really win or is there a requirement of some form of absolute tolerance to meet. well lets see. she is a full time mom of 6 kids who btw absolutely adore me. they are always sad when i leave and are always excited when i return. that's awesome. i love kids we get along great. awesome. but i have already said i wont be doing nothing around them kids. like kiss or or touch her or whatnot. just to keep the innocence and questions at bay. especially when it comes to kids. well that's fine. awesome. well then when do i get to touch an hold and kiss her like i want to. after work, after she sits down on the couch and before she passes out for the night on my chest usually. that's like an hour tops. usually if I'm lucky we might have a conversation. until recently i used to love holding her while she sleeps. well not its getting alot redundant. because then after what ever movie we had watched i push her off me and she goes upstairs to bed. and we get to cuddle as we pass out. but a short 3 or 4 hours later shes right back up again. to look after them kids and make sure they get to school on time. yay. what happens after that i don't kno because then she usually passes out with him on the couch. i would wake up alone around 11 or so. . well awesome. ill drink my coffee and have my smokes maybe play the xbox. just get out of the way.. eventually she will get ready for work. for an hour and a half and then we would jet out. i obviously got nothing to say on the ride back to work. where i would get out and walk my ass home. I'm lucky to get a kiss these days. I'm even luckier to be able to touch her outside of the normal amounts i get to. which is like never. today me and her were supposed to go out to a bar tonite. to dance to have fun just us. her and me. i was really really really excited. i was looking forward to it all month. ever since i got the invite. and invited her and he wanted to go. i was counting on this night as our first date. coz if you think about it. she would of been planning to come to Victoria this weekend. for the week. again time for just her and i. just us to. forgetting the husband and kids for a bit. i just want some one on one time. just a bit. but i don't kno where that comes in on a relationship like this one. shes gone on about 4 or 5 other dates with him since we started this thing. great. awesome. i get that its very important. but now m starting to feel lefted out. like in just barely hanging out on the side. now tonite i ave been replaced and stood up coz everyone broke. and now Jen's going back home tonite to hang out with him alone again. . i think its time i laid low for a long while. make her want me again. stop going over every night. stop texting her just enough to make her show concern. my phone could get cut off any minuet now. and it would help me. i don't know how to say i just want some time with her. when she doesn't have to sleep or chase after kids or have her husband making deep conversation on the cell phone. ultimately distracting her from me. maybe this isn't working out really. maybe I'm failing here all over again. maybe i need to back out. for good. i want to love her. but it the balance that she needs to love. we work out well but i want some time for just her and me to take in a nice dinner and movie with out distraction and excuses. I'm really thinking hard about just calling it all off. and heading out for a while. let it freeze over before someone gets hurt. id rather take the fall then them. for really this is all my fault tin the first place.

Scorpio Woman Traits

The beauty of a Scorpio woman is exceptional, mysterious and totally magnetic. She knows that and is proud of herself. She will control her wish to dominate and will let a man lead in a relationship, atleast during courtship. She knows how to hypnotize a man and gets successful, more often than not. Don't expect a Scorpio female to rush into your arms in front of a thousand people and shout her feelings at the top of her voice. Instead, she will come close to you, glance at you in a sensual way and whisper the most romantic words in a seductive tone.


If you are not sincere with your feelings, don't even try to get close to a Scorpio girl. With those beautiful, penetrating eyes of hers, she can read exactly what is on your mind. She can easily make out your real intentions, so Don't Flirt. It will amount to insulting her and I assure you, insulting her is not at all good for your health. Even when her tone is soothing, her disposition kind and her smile generous, she can be planning the most powerful retaliation. When a Scorpio woman is insulted or gets hurt, her fury knows no bounds.

Then, she can become the most hard-hearted and most sarcastic person on this earth. If she loves with fierce devotion, she hates with devastating malice. If you are really in love with her, then you need to know more about her. She has a very hypnotic gaze and the moment her eyes meet your, you will go tumbling down in her deep passion. Being noticed by a Scorpio female definitely gives a boost to a man's ego. She needs a man who is stronger than she is and weakness in him won't get her sympathy at all.

She is passionate with everything that is related to her. It is almost impossible for her to have neutral feelings. Either she will deeply cherish or fiercely hate. If any of the feelings are not experienced, she will become completely indifferent towards it. Scorpio women, however, never let these feelings show. Her expression will always remain neutral, betraying nothing. Her anger is very bad and it's better to get out of her way when it gets out of hand. Her characteristics profile will make her storehouse of secrets, but people wouldn't know any of hers.

Her personal life will be out of bounds for everyone. At the same time, she will never tell the secrets that have been confided in her, not even to you. Even with you, she will have a private part and its better not to pry. That does not mean she is dishonest. Infact, she will be so brutally honest that, at times, she may hurt people in the process. Like a typical Scorpio, she will choose her friends very carefully and the credible ones will remain with her throughout her life. She will never maintain a relationship with unworthy people.

Determination and will power are her basic personality traits. She can use them anytime to come out of anything that is negative. If you have been able to win the true love of a Scorpio female, you can be sure you will never feel lonely again. She will be totally devoted to you and even if you two don't get married for any reasons beyond your control, her love for you will not change. She is one of those who believe in the phrase 'Till Death Do Us Apart'.
Now comes the dangerous part. A Scorpio girl is extremely jealous and fiercely possessive of her loved ones. She is prone to suspicions; so don't give reasons to be doubtful of you. On the other hand, you will have to control your jealousy, since she will be attracting a lot of members of the opposite sex. She also dislikes being possessed by anyone, including you. In such a scenario, just remember that a Scorpio woman will always be loyal and devoted to you, even in the worst of circumstances.

And then, you know you cannot leave her and it is better to adjust to such a trifle thing. Nobody walks away from a Scorpio, right? As far as money is concerned, she will enjoy it whether she saves it in a piggy bank or splurges it on luxurious things. She is very conscious of her social standards and will never compromise in case of status. She likes power and will sacrifice money and many other things for it. She seems to be very practical, but inside she is very emotional. Like all Scorpios, she will not see any viewpoint in case of her own emotions.

A Scorpio female has a sense of fairness and justice. If you don't wish her good morning one day after a fight, she will do the same for the next four days. The same goes for generosity also. If you do one kind deed for her, she will do four in return. As a mother, she will extremely possessive of her children and will care for them. However, she may not express her love openly and this is something you will have to teach her. She will make them independent, fair, strong and proud of themselves, the way she is of them. She will encourage them to develop their innate talents and make sure they don't go unnoticed.

A Scorpio woman can drown you in her passion. But then, she can also bring you to safety when the raft becomes too dicey. She can provide you her calm and steady support in the worst of circumstances. Once you win her love, you will never be lonely again. Your food will be perfectly baked and she will grind fresh coffee for you. You will always come back to a spotless home, radiating with the aura of her magnetic personality, the charm of her deep beauty and the warmth of her everlasting love!

Scorpio is a Fixed Water sign, ruled by Pluto. Before the discovery of Pluto, the ruling plant for this sign was Mars, and the two are more or less interchangeable with regard to the Scorpio personality, especially since the recent downgrade of Pluto from a full-blown planet to a "dwarf planet." As the eighth sign of the zodiac, the Scorpio individual is an intense, intuitive, complex, determined soul who gives life his all, for better or worse. Famous characters sharing this sign include Bill Gates (October 28), Prince Charles (November 14), and Charles Manson (November 12).


Of all the signs of the zodiac, Scorpios are arguably the most recognizable due to their combination of straight-shooting directness, laser beam mental focus, and critical assessment. Don't ask Scorpio if you don't want to know the unvarnished truth. There's no sugar-coating whatsoever here, even if the truth is not pretty. This tendency does not endear Scorpio to many of the other signs, who consider him overly critical - even hurtfully so. However, by the same token, when Scorpio gives you a compliment, it's not as a condescending gesture, but rather a straight-out, honest assessment that you can indeed be proud of. Although Scorpio generally performs well in social and work situations, he is most comfortable either alone or with the small circle of family and friends he is closest to. This is not a sign that actively seeks out the company of others, preferring introversion rather than extroversion whenever possible. Scorpio is fiercely self-reliant and will almost never seek out the advice of others, preferring to look to himself for his answers. Although we generally don't comment on physical traits for the zodiac signs in these pages, it is worth noting that many, many Scorpios are noted for their penetrating eyes that make others feel uncomfortable (think Charlie Manson).

For those with a Scorpio child, you have a kid with a deep emotional bond with you, but who is also quite capable of entertaining himself when you are not available with no hard feelings, especially if he has something interesting to do. With his sharp mind and inquisitive nature, your little Scorpio will likely soak up knowledge in whatever form you provide it, be it television, books, puzzles, or whatever. Because of their tendency to be rather introverted, Scorpio kids should be given special attention from time-to-time, as they may tend to get pushed aside by louder, more boisterous siblings - especially older ones. Make no mistake, though - they can and will defend themselves, and when angered, they will retaliate fiercely, usually in an unexpected way designed to cause the most damage. Scorpio kids will appreciate one-on-one time with their parents, but generally won't feel comfortable talking about deeply personal issues. Keeping it light and fun is a plus with these kids, with the knowledge that if something is really bothering them, they will find a way to let you know, though again, it might be in a roundabout way. In school. Scorpio is smart enough to ace any of his studies, but he will only put effort into those things that interest him most. His grades therefore will likely be uneven, though with his adversity for failure, he will likely make enough effort to squeak by in subjects he dislikes.

Scorpio in the workplace is the one with the office full of odd decorations with either no chairs for visitors or one chair that is hidden in a dark corner. You won't find Scorpio flitting around the water cooler looking for gossip, as he considers this a complete waste of time and energy. Because of this, other people in the office will often comment that they think he is mean or unfriendly, and that they are unexplainably uncomfortable in his presence, although Scorpio himself considers his relationships with his co-workers as adequate. The boss usually loves Scorpio because he is a low-maintenance, industrious worker who is able to completely focus on the task at hand. The few select people who work more closely with Scorpio and have gotten past his exterior shell find him quite useful, often confiding in him about personal issues to get his honest, straightforward assessment. Although he doesn't seem emotional or compassionate on the surface, Scorpio will be the one to initiate a fund drive for another employee who has fallen on hard times and needs help, and he will usually do so anonymously to avoid unwanted attention.

f you have found a romantic partner in a Scorpio, you have a fiercely private, deeply feeling partner indeed. You may have to get used to the fact that you will never know everything about your Scorpio, but rest assured that if he feels a strong connection to you, he will let you know what you need to know. Indeed, if he didn't feel a strong connection to you, you wouldn't even be around! Scorpio is very loyal and expects the same from you. He is a highly intuitive individual, and will likely instinctively know what you need and want - a very good trait to have in a partner. However, his intuition will also pick up on imperfections in the relationship, so don't be surprised if he zeros in and starts asking probing questions if you are trying to hide something from him. It's going to be tough giving your Scorpio mate a surprise birthday party!

The best matches for Scorpio for sure are Cancer and Pisces, but Virgo, Leo, Capricorn, and Sagittarius might also work. It will likely be tough going with another Scorpio, Taurus, or Aries.

Scorpio in any relationship is smart and interesting, with surprising intuition. He may seem quite critical, which is off-putting at times, but you can count on him for an honest assessment. Don't go to him for sympathy, as he will tell you to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it. However, if you are in real trouble, he will likely sympathize and find resources to solve your problem, often in an unconventional way. If you cross a Scorpio, depending on the circumstances, he may walk away for life, but if he doesn't, he will find a way to even the score to his satisfaction before resuming the friendship. Despite these pitfalls, Scorpio as a friend has the potential to be one of the most loyal, intuitive, intelligent, nurturing, and helpful friends in the zodiac, so making the effort to dig a little deeper than you have to with other signs will likely provide you with rich rewards in the end!

The Scorpion is one intense little creature, with enough poison in its own tail to disable or kill a much larger opponent. But the problem with this kind of built-in biological weaponry is that it must be mastered in order to be used most effectively. You Scorpios can use your "stinger" for self-defense, using your powerful emotional awareness to render your opponent harmless. But there is a sexual component of poisonous tail also, and until Scorpio learns to control those strong urges, Scorpio may find yourself in uncomfortable situations.


Scorpio is the only sign that has three animal totems. First, there is the well-known Scorpion with its active tail. Second, as the Scorpio learns to master its passion and hold its instincts at bay, it changes into the Eagle. The Eagle has more perspective, for it flies high above the surface of circumstances, swooping down with its power only to kill prey for food. In its third form, the Scorpion becomes the always-peaceful dove. The real meaning of Scorpio is thus shown. Scorpio is about metamorphosis. Scorpios transform the painful poisons of possessive passion into a higher consciousness based on universal love.

The Scorpio motto might be "What is hidden is more interesting than what is obvious." You are the detectives of the zodiac. Your magnetic personality draws others to you. But you can also be secretive yourself, for you learn early on that when you express everything, others may be scared by the power of your feelings. You desperately want to have someone to merge with your feelings, but can become cold and withdrawn when hurt in love. You have the magic to light up the dark, but sometimes you would benefit by looking at the positive side of things rather than going into the darkness at all.

Element: Water
Astrologically, the water element symbolizes emotion. Water runs deep; it seeks its own level and will flow until it has found it. The cycle of water is endless with the snows falling in the mountains and melting. The mountain streams join to make the great rivers that run to the sea. The tides and currents churn the oceans. Similarly, our feelings are flowing as they connect the present with past experiences. Sometimes the waters are so deep that we cannot put words to our feelings.

The water of Scorpio is fixed and frozen, but it is a mistake to think that ice doesn't flow. It does flow -- and with great power. Think of a glacier, moving so very slowly, yet with enough power to flatten a forest or even a mountain.

Eighth House: Transformation
Since the Second House is the House of Possessions, the Eighth House opposite it, is about what other people have. This can include sexual issues, for they usually involve another person. It is also about the ultimate transformation -- death -- but not necessarily your own. It could be said that the Eighth House is what we don't know and what we cannot understand. It is surely a House of Hidden Power.

Key Planet: Pluto
Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld. If this sounds scary, it demands a bit more explanation, for Pluto symbolizes everything that is beneath our consciousness. This isn't about the Hell where we are punished. Rather, it is the Hell that William Blake describes as a place "so beautiful that it would torment an angel to insanity." As the key planet for Scorpio, Pluto is intense and powerful, representing those things that we don't or can't understand. And it is from these hidden Plutonic spaces that magical transformations arise.

Your Biggest Strength: Your passion about your feelings
Your Potential Weakness: Need for secrecy can be isolating

Scorpios are the most intense, profound, powerful characters in the zodiac. Even when they appear self-controlled and calm there is a seething intensity of emotional energy under the placid exterior. They are like the volcano not far under the surface of a calm sea, it may burst into eruption at any moment. But those of us who are particularly perceptive will be aware of the harnessed aggression, the immense forcefulness, magnetic intensity, and often strangely hypnotic personality under the tranquil, but watchful composure of Scorpio. In conventional social gatherings they are pleasant to be with, thoughtful in conversation, dignified, and reserved, yet affable and courteous; they sometimes possess penetrating eyes which make their shyer companions feel naked and defenseless before them.


In their everyday behavior they give the appearance of being withdrawn from the center of activity, yet those who know them will recognize the watchfulness that is part of their character. They need great self-discipline, because they are able to recognize the qualities in themselves that make them different from other humans, and to know their utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil. Their tenacity and willpower are immense, their depth of character and passionate conviction overwhelming, yet they are deeply sensitive and easily moved by their emotions. Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger. This may express itself in such destructive speech or action that they make lifelong enemies by their outspokenness, for they find it difficult not to be overly critical of anything or anyone to whom they take a dislike.

They can harness their abundant energy constructively, tempering their self-confidence with shrewdness and their ambition with magnanimity toward others provided they like them. They relate to fellow workers only as leaders and can be blunt to those they dislike to the point of cruelty. In fact they are not above expressing vindictiveness in deliberate cruelty. They are too demanding, too unforgiving of faults in others, perhaps because they are not aware of the shortcomings within themselves, and extravagantly express their self-disgust in unreasonable resentment against their fellows. They do, however, make excellent friends, provided that their companions do nothing to impugn the honor of which Scorpios are very jealous. Part of the negative side of the Scorpio nature is a tendency to discard friends once they cease to be useful, but the decent native is aware of, and fights this tendency.

They are fortunate in that their strong reasoning powers are tempered with imagination and intuition, and these gifts, together with critical perception and analytical capacity, can enable the Scorpions to penetrate to profundities beyond the average. They have a better chance of becoming geniuses than the natives of any other sign.But charismatic "twice-born" characters such as they can sink into the extremes of depravity if they take the wrong path, and the intensity of their nature exaggerates their harmful tendencies into vices far greater than the normal.

Rebelliousness against all conventions, political extremism to the point where hatred of the Establishment makes them utterly unscrupulous terrorists. Brooding resentment, aggressive and sadistic brutality, total arrogance, morbid jealousy, extreme volatility of temperament, these are some of their vices. At the other extreme is the procrastinator, the man or woman who is capable of so much that they do nothing and become indolent and self-indulgent, requiring extravagant praise and flattery from those whom they make their cronies.

Being so gifted, they can find fulfillment in many employments. Their inner intensity can result in the ice-cold self-control and detachment of the surgeon, the concentration of the research scientist, and the heroism of the soldier. Any profession in which analysis, investigation, research, dealing with practicalities, and the solving of mysteries are relevant, can appeal to them. So police and detective work, espionage and counterespionage, the law, physics or psychology may attract them, and they can become masters of the written and spoken word. They may be most persuasive orators and find fulfillment as diplomats or preachers and, if they make the Church their profession, their inner intensity can express itself in the spiritual fervor of the mystic or the thaumaturgy.

Scorpio is the symbol of sex and Scorpios are passionate lovers, the most sensually energetic of all the signs. For them, union with the beloved is a sacrament, an "outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.". Their overriding urge in loving is to use their power to penetrate beyond themselves and to lose themselves sexually in their partners in an almost mystical ecstasy, thus discovering the meaning of that union which is greater than individuality, and is a marriage of the spirit as well as of flesh. They are thus capable of the greatest heights of passionate transport, but debauchery and perversion are always dangers, and Scorpios can become sadistic monsters of sensuality and eroticism. Their feelings are so intense that even when their love is of the highest, and most idealistic kind, they are nevertheless frequently protagonists in tragic, even violent romances, "star-crossed lovers".

Determined, Forceful, Emotional, Intuitive, Powerful, Passionate, Exciting and Magnetic

Jealous, Resentful, Compulsive, Obsessive, Secretive and Obstinate
Intuitive and ever curious, Scorpios are the great investigators of the Zodiac. They want to know everything about everyone. When an answer is needed, a Scorpio will find it for you. Unfortunately Scorpios seem to see only in black and white. They always have their own agenda and never fail to promote it.

Scorpios are the masters of their fate. They know only one way to live: on their own terms. They do not live life but attack it. When life hands them a loss, they do not waste time sulking, but rather continue on their path, sure they will eventually succeed. Scorpios are driven by their intense passions and desires. Often they are seen as imperious.

Scorpios are a secretive lot. Those around them may never know the depth of their passions. Probing the Scorpio psyche will only make them leery and cause them to flee. Whether in business or play, Scorpios love to compete. Indeed to do well, they must have an opponent. Scorpios do not take slights well. If you cross them be assured they will retaliate with their full force. Scorpios never quit and never surrender. If anyone can get a difficult task done it is a Scorpio.

The Scorpio In Love:
Scorpios have a dark and mysterious style which, combined with an irresistible personal magnetism, creates a fascination in members of the opposite sex. They ooze sexual excitement and require a partner who can keep up with their marvelous capacity for taking everything to the limit and far beyond. For Scorpios, emotions run deep, and their faculty of intuition is remarkably accurate, so their antennae can pick out a prospective partner at first sight. They need, however, to keep a part of themselves private and personal. They can react vigorously should a lover trespass in their personal domain.

Scorpios can be unduly domineering in personal relationships, especially should they perceive their partner to be weaker than themselves. Their biggest problem is finding someone who, while strong enough to maintain a tempestuous lifestyle, is interesting enough to remain a challenge. Once they find the right person they will mate for life.

Famous Scorpians Include:
Marie Antoinette, Marie Curie, Martin Luther, Theodore Roosevelt, Bill Gates, Lorne Michaels, Picasso, William Penn, Christopher Columbus, Sally Field, Joni Mitchell, Mohammed, Prince Charles, Goldie Hawn, Roberto Goizueta, and Voltaire

Ideal Jobs Include:
Scorpions are well-suited for careers as doctors, investigators, ecologists, managers, engineers, navigators and secret agents.
Lucky Numbers:
8, 17, 26, 35, 44, 53
Planet: Pluto
Star Stone: Opal
Element: Water

Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Sensing

Portrait of an INFP - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition)
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The Idealist

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Extraverted Intuition
Tertiary: Introverted Sensing
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

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INFP Strengths
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Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:
Warmly concerned and caring towards others
Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
Deep capacity for love and caring
Driven to meet other's needs
Strive for "win-win" situations
Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
Able to express themselves well
Flexible and diverse
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INFP Weaknesses
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Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:
May tend to be shy and reserved
Don't like to have their "space" invaded
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
May react very emotionally to stressful situations
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders
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INFPs as Lovers
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"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

INFPs feels tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedastal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedastal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mates satisfaction above their own.

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. "TJ"s relate to others with a objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of peceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match. How did we arrive at this?
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INFPs as Parents
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"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.

INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.

Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.

The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.

Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sides", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.

INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.
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INFPs as Friends
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INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

INFPs will be valued by their confidantes as genuine, altruistic, deep, caring, original individuals.
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Portrait of an ISFP - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Sensing)
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The Artist

As an ISFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in via your five sense in a literal, concrete fashion.

ISFPs live in the world of sensation possibilities. They are keenly in tune with the way things look, taste, sound, feel and smell. They have a strong aesthetic appreciation for art, and are likely to be artists in some form, because they are unusually gifted at creating and composing things which will strongly affect the senses. They have a strong set of values, which they strive to consistently meet in their lives. They need to feel as if they're living their lives in accordance with what they feel is right, and will rebel against anything which conflicts with that goal. They're likely to choose jobs and careers which allow them the freedom of working towards the realization of their value-oriented personal goals.

ISFPs tend to be quiet and reserved, and difficult to get to know well. They hold back their ideas and opinions except from those who they are closest to. They are likely to be kind, gentle and sensitive in their dealings with others. They are interested in contributing to people's sense of well-being and happiness, and will put a great deal of effort and energy into tasks which they believe in.

ISFPs have a strong affinity for aesthetics and beauty. They're likely to be animal lovers, and to have a true appreciation for the beauties of nature. They're original and independent, and need to have personal space. They value people who take the time to understand the ISFP, and who support the ISFP in pursuing their goals in their own, unique way. People who don't know them well may see their unique way of life as a sign of carefree light-heartedness, but the ISFP actually takes life very seriously, constantly gathering specific information and shifting it through their value systems, in search for clarification and underlying meaning.

ISFPs are action-oriented individuals. They are "doers", and are usually uncomfortable with theorizing concepts and ideas, unless they see a practical application. They learn best in a "hands-on" environment, and consequently may become easily bored with the traditional teaching methods, which emphasize abstract thinking. They do not like impersonal analysis, and are uncomfortable with the idea of making decisions based strictly on logic. Their strong value systems demand that decisions are evaluated against their subjective beliefs, rather than against some objective rules or laws.

ISFPs are extremely perceptive and aware of others. They constantly gather specific information about people, and seek to discover what it means. They are usually penetratingly accurate in their perceptions of others.

ISFPs are warm and sympathetic. They genuinely care about people, and are strongly service-oriented in their desire to please. They have an unusually deep well of caring for those who are close to them, and are likely to show their love through actions, rather than words.

ISFPs have no desire to lead or control others, just as they have no desire to be led or controlled by others. They need space and time alone to evaluate the circumstances of their life against their value system, and are likely to respect other people's needs for the same.

The ISFP is likely to not give themself enough credit for the things which they do extremely well. Their strong value systems can lead them to be intensely perfectionist, and cause them to judge themselves with unneccesary harshness.

The ISFP has many special gifts for the world, especially in the areas of creating artistic sensation, and selflessly serving others. Life is not likely to be extremely easy for the ISFP, because they take life so seriously, but they have the tools to make their lives and the lives of those close to them richly rewarding experiences.

Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxilliary: Extraverted Sensing
Tertiary: Introverted Intuition
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking

 ISFP Relationships
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ISFPs are warmhearted, gentle people who take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. They are very private people, who keep their true feelings and opinions reserved or hidden from others. This may cause them to constantly defer to their mates in their intimate relationships, which may cause problems if their mates are not extremely aware of the ISFP's feelings. Some ISFPs who are in the habit of not expressing their needs and feelings find themselves in situations throughout their life where they feel overshadowed, overlooked, or even "tread upon" by others. Highly practical and cynical by nature, these feelings may cause the ISFP to become bitter, and to either give up on their relationships, or to start using their relationships for their own personal gain. Although this problem is observed sometimes in the ISFP type, it does not seem to be present in those ISFPs who consistently express their feelings to those closest to them. These ISFPs have a very positive, warm outlook on life and love, and are not as likely to find themselves in relationships where they are taken for granted or taken advantage of. ISFPs go to great lengths to please their partners. They're very loyal and supportive, with a deep capacity for love. They detest conflict and discord, and highly value being seen and understood for who they are. They need space to live their lives in their own unique way, and will respect other's need for space.
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ISFP Strengths
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Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
Usually optimistic
Good listeners
Good at dealing with practical day-to-day concerns
Flexible and laid-back, usually willing to defer to their mates
Their love of aesthetic beauty and appreciation for function makes them likely to have attractive, functional homes
Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Likely to value and respect other's personal space
Likely to enjoy showing their affection through acts and deeds
Sensuous and earthy
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ISFP Weaknesses
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Not good at long-range financial (or other) planning
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Focused on enjoying the present moment, they may appear lazy or slow-moving at times
Need to have their own space, and dislike having it invaded
May be slow to show their affection with words
Tendency to hold back their thoughts and feelings, unless drawn out
May become overly cynical and practical
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ISFPs as Lovers
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"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

ISFPs are warm and giving people, who have a depth of emotion and caring which is not often obvious to others, except those who know them extremely well. They are usually intense people, who experience their emotions on an intense level. Although they may appear to be light-hearted, they are in fact extremely serious, and take their relationships seriously. Unlike other SP types, people with the ISFP type desire and seek lifelong, committed relationships.

ISFPs may have a problem with communication. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they are more vulnerable then most to being hurt. Perhaps because of this, they tend to hold back part of themselves from others, and do not always say what they think or feel. This is especially true during conflict situations, which the ISFP abhors more than anything in the world. Confrontations and arguments are very difficult for the ISFP to deal with. They feel personally threatened in these situations. If the ISFP falls into the habit of not communicating their feelings with their partner, this could cause serious problems in the relationship over the long haul.

Sexually, the ISFP approaches intimacy with complete attention, seriousness and depth. They experience lovemaking through their senses, and welcome the chance to interact with their mate at this level. They are not likely to express their feelings verbally, believing that actions speak louder than words.

ISFPs need positive affirmation to be happy and feel good about themselves. They need to be praised, although they are usually uncomfortable with "gushy" praise. The greatest gift their partners can give them is the expression of their affection and admiration.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the ISFP's natural partner is the ESFJ, or the ENFJ. ISFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The ISFP/ESFJ combination is ideal, because the types share Sensing as their way of perceiving the world, but ISFP/ENFJ is also a good match. How did we arrive at this?
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ISFPs as Parents
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"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

ISFPs enjoy their parenting role, and take great pride and comfort in their children. Most have a special affinity with babies and young children, and form bonds with their children when they are very young. They are very laid-back parents, and are not likely to have highly defined expectations of their children. They will gently guide their behavior, and suggest a particular direction, but their own respect of the individual psyche will cause them to be quite easy-going and non-demanding as parents. The ISFP is likely to treat their children as individuals, and encourage them to have their own role in the family.

ISFPs love to have fun, and live in the current moment. All ISFPs have a bit of little kid inside themselves, and they love to play games alongside their children. They're special affinity towards nature and animals makes them likely to lead their children in fun outdoors activities.

ISFPs are not likely to provide a very structured environment for their children. They are also likely to have a problem with disciplining or punishing their kids. The gentle manner and kind heart of the ISFP makes it hard for them to make others unhappy - especially their own children. However, structure and discipline are important for growing children. If the other parent encourages and promotes structure, and is able to administer discipline when necessary, the parent combination may work very well without there being an obvious lack of structure. However, if the other parent is also not strong with structure or discipline, this is an area which needs to have special attention. Growing children do not have the experience to decide on their own the difference between Right and Wrong. They need to have barriers set down in a tangible way, to help them decide.

ISFPs like to show their love in deeds rather than words, which is manifested in their doing a lot for their children. They may lavish them with gifts on Christmas day, or go out of their way to do special things for them.

The ISFP is a service-oriented person, who defines their personal worth in some part by how happy they make others. This is typical of people with the Feeling preference. The special potential problem that ISFPs face is their service-oriented attitude combined with their habit of not expressing their own needs and feelings. This combination causes some ISFPs to get taken for granted. If this happens frequently to an ISFP, they may become bitter and angry. They think of themselves as victims, and may erect barriers to keep out those who have hurt them. This may be a serious problem if the ISFP parent feels that their children are taking them for granted. The best defense against such a situation occuring is for the ISFP to get into the habit of verbalizing and communicating their needs.

ISFP parents will be loyal, dedicated and self-sacrificing to their children until they leave home. When the kids have left the nest, the ISFP will enjoy their time alone to do things for themself. If the ISFP has not allowed themselves to become victims or victimizers in their life, they will be very good parents, and will be remembered fondly and affectionately by their children.
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ISFPs as Friends
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ISFPs are able to get along with most of the other personality types, although they tend to be reserved around those they don't know well. They will enjoy spending time with others who share their interests, and who understand and accept the ISFP for who they are. They greatly value their space and autonomy, and appreciate other's respect for that.

The ISFP is not likely to have much patience or tolerance for those who are strongly Judging. ISFPs celebrate their own uniqueness, as well as everybody else's, and don't appreciate being judged harshly for their differences.

In work settings, the ISFP is likely to get along with most everyone, unless someone inhabits their space too much, in which case sparks may fly. Generally, the ISFP is kind-hearted and generous with those they care about, and makes a true-blue friend.

The ISFP personality can seem aloof due to their quiet nature. However, they are one of the most caring of personality types. When they first meet people, they may have difficulty in establishing quick bonds. To some, ISFPs can seem slightly eccentric in their pursuits and motivations. In truth, they are often simply following an internal set of ideals, generated from within and kept private from others. Many ISFPs are driven by what they sense around them, often at the cost of sacrificing what other people may consider pragmatic. When people get to know them, they're usually well-liked as they exude an uncommon level of compassion and empathy for people. Below, we'll explore how ISFPs keep their feelings inside, are unusually susceptible to sensation and the limitations they cope with.
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Containing Feelings
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The ISFP type is private nearly to a fault. They have a tendency to avoid sharing their ideas and thoughts with others. Most people consider them to be composed, even in circumstances that imply a confrontation. In fact, ISFPs rarely express themselves through anger. They feel everything from within and can be sensitive to what others say or do. They seldom speak with strangers because they're reserved; that quality can make them seem standoffish and even unapproachable, despite their innately caring personality. ISFP personality types are apt to develop a strong set of values based upon their feelings. While they won't typically communicate these values, their actions are usually consistent with them.
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Using Their Senses
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People with the ISFP personality experience the world through their senses. While others may conceptualize ideas and events, ISFPs have a natural propensity for absorbing what their eyes, ear, nose, mouth and skin tell them and taking action based upon those impressions. They have an appreciate for the arts that rivals that of most other personality types. People with the ISFP trait can almost feel the artistic creations of others due to their intense awareness and sensory input. They're most comfortable when they are applying their ideas by actually doing something instead of spending time in conjecture.
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Unverified Data
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ISFPs often show a hint of intuition, but it comes from information that is gathered internally. Rather than relying upon tangible evidence to draw conclusions, they'll often begin forming connections based upon their own hunches or feelings.
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Potential Weaknesses
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ISFPs run the risk of alienating those who are not close to them. However, it is through no direct intention on their part; rather, it's a result of their tendency to remain private and reserved. They also tend to drive themselves toward perfection. This is likely due to a strict adherence to their values. Unfortunately, this hunt for personal perfection can potentially sabotage their own efforts and productivity. Also, ISFP types who use their intuition may find themselves arriving at the wrong conclusions. Because they're prone to taking action, this can cause problems. However, despite their inherent flaws, ISFPs make devoted friends, lovers and companions.
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"Dreamy Idealist"

Quiet, reflective and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

At every minute, they are keenly aware of what their five senses tell them, whether it be the feel of a new fabric, the smell of a new gourmet dish, or the sound of a beautiful musical instrument.

They will build deep relationships with a chosen few.
They are very much in touch with reality and the here and now. You won't see them being spacey, with their minds drawn elsewhere. Instead they will be observing and processing all that is going on around them.

ISFPs prefer not to manage and supervise others.
They crave what's new and exciting. They crave freedom and dislike too many rules, regulations and the routine.
Although introverted, somewhat shy and reserved rather than outgoing, they will treat most people very warmly and with care.



ISFPs prefer careers where:
Management provides specific and realistic directions
The work itself is personally meaningful and has value
Decisions and actions at work are in sync with your personal values
The work offers the opportunity to rapidly change direction and to respond to problems as they arise
The work is fun and allows for some spontaneity
You can apply your natural ability to focus and concentrate, rather than multitasking
The environment, culture and pace allow you to consider things fully before having to respond
The work allows you to work at a careful steady pace
The work allows you adequate private time to work alone and to concentrate
The work is realistic, down to earth, and practical, rather than abstract and theoretical
The work allows you to utilize your strong memory to recall details, facts, and people
The work is focused on the Now not the Future, on what is rather than what could be
The atmosphere allows you to be warm and caring and to build strong interpersonal relationships
The environment allows for freedom and flexibility and is loosely structured without too many rules

I found most ISFP people weakness.
For ISFP people, don't be affraid with your weakness. Knowing your weakness is better than not knowing it at all.

- voiding conflict
- Can be too trusting and so may be taken advantage of
- May be unreliable regarding deadlines
- Unassuming manner may mean you are underestimated by others
- May fail to see the wider implications of the task you are working on
- May need to be ready to offer constructive criticism on occasions when necessary
- Tend to be passive rather than assertive
- Do not cope well with fast paced, pressurised environments
- Dislike abstract theories unless they can see how they can be applied
- Can be poor at time management

ISFPs are less fantasy-oriented than INFPs. These types are often confused, however, INFPs lean strongly to daydreams, poetry, prose and more philosophical pursuits; ISFPs often live out 'id' experiences rather than writing or even talking about them.


ISFJs are driven by the conventional, by 'should's and 'ought's; ISFPs internalize their Feeling (by nature a judging function) which bursts out spontaneously and leaves as quickly and mysteriously as it came.

Because of these variant expressions of Feeling judgement, ISFPs are sometimes confused with ESFJs, but keep themselves more aloof, more often concealing the feelings that ESFJs are so apt to expose.

ESFPs express thoughts more readily (and, in the main, skillfully). ISFPs can and do perform admirably in the spotlight, but generally have little to say about the performance. For example, few ISFPs would be disc-jockeys, a field strongly represented by ES_Ps.
Functional Analysis:


Introverted Feeling

Feeling, unbridled by the external forces of society and substance, is the dominant function. ISFPs spontaneously develop their own codes and credos, about which they are quite sober and intense. ISFPs are questors, driven to find the pure and ideal, as personally and individually defined. Feeling may temporarily turn outward, but cannot be long sustained beyond its cloistered home.

If the individual has values greater than herself, feeling may express itself in valiant acts of selflessness. Turned in upon self, however, it becomes an unscrupulous, capricious enigma, capable even of heinous acts of deception and treachery.

Extraverted Sensing

ISFPs keep a finger on the pulse of here and now. They are more adept at doing than considering, at acting than reflecting, at tasting than wondering. As do most SPs, ISFPs keenly sense color, sound, texture, and movement. It is not unusual for ISFPs to excel in sensory, motor, or kinesthetic abilities.

ISFPs cherish their impulses. Some of the most beautiful, graceful, and artistic performances are the result of this drive for physical, sensate expression.

Introverted iNtuition

Tertiary intuition works best in the background of the ISFP's inner world. Perhaps this is the source of the "gut feeling" SPs consult in matters of chance. However "lucky" the ISFP may be, intuition as a means of communication is a poor servant, evidenced in spoonerisms, and non sequiturs and mixed metaphors.

Extraverted Thinking

The ISFP may employ Extraverted Thinking in external situations requiring closure. As is the case with inferior functions, such Thinking behaves in an all or nothing manner. Thus, as with other FP types, the ISFP's Extraverted Thinking is at risk for a lack of context and proportion. In most cases, persons of this type enjoy greater facility operating in the open-ended style of sensing, implying the opinions of feeling values in the indirect fashion characteristic of introverted functions.

new year.

so far gone so far long
so many places to go
 only so far i can go
like on a chain i cant get far
im tied up to myself
not letting me go on
why cant i let myself move forward
whos holding me back now
theres no one there
no one to call my own
no one to be there for me soully
i just got rid of the ex girlfreind once and for all
to make my current girl happy
i need to clear the air a bit
i need to damage control
 i need to live my life here for now
i cant live in the past
i tell myself this everyday
yesterday never mattered as
soon as the night turned to morning
the new sun rose and brought fresh clean
thoughts happiness and contentment
so live and flock in this right here
do what you want for yourself
and not one soul more
no one else can actually direct you anymore
you need to find the original jazz
the original fire passiona nd push
you need to get out there and be there
lift your head up and step up
out of the darkness
just carry on faster harder better
get stronger faster harder faster
you need to push yourself to the limits
stretch yourself to the bone
you need to break the barriers
you need to overcome the hurdles
most of all you need to find a healthy balance
between heart soul mind and body
you need to find center and stay there
you have the goals
you have the mindset
you know what you are doing
 you always knew you
 just needed to go crazy
to get there