So i have come to the conclusion that my Girlfriend and I are not compatible partiers. None at all. We both tlike to have a good time, but we have very different ways of having fun or being high. me i like to go about, wander around, have fun, but her oin the other hand is a i find a good spot and i dont move and no one touches me. really strange something im tottally not used to, and yeah shes told me, but i think this last weekend has put a slight burn on our relationship. i mean a few hours before we did them i had to tell her about my lost iPod. that didnt set very well, and i wanted to hang out at the Club, but i also had a bad feeling about Jon and his friends you know. and how compleatleay done they were, had no idea who i was, no idea about anything....and yeah... and that feeling was right, after the Y they peaced out apparently and went to some friends place, prolly did lines of coke and stuff and passed out on some random floor, so i didnt end up going either so i chilled with heather and friends, with them doing lines of coke and the three of us doing E and stuff..and trying not to be "sketch" i was called, but i was, at one point Everybody was talking at the same time trying to talk over each other and i honestly cant do that i love my music, and oi love talking to epople but if a whole room of people are all talking at once, i get confused and fusterated and i was getting that way it was weird...i mean Drew and them were alright, pretty fun..Drew kept hitting on me most of the night..hes a cutie, good friend, rich ass, oh and heather got mad at me for not getting some money or anything...but im totally different i like to share things and i like to be friendly and move and meet people and have a fun environment, but sitting around is alright for some time. i dunno, so then after that i was dying on Lelands bed, trippin Balls in the dark room and my eyes rollin back i was so fuckin high, i mean it was great, but so high...lol... but i was alos kindof uncomfortable, i dunno...so i dont think i want to get high with her no more...she has her ways that im not used to right now...i like doing my rthing especially dancing and stuff and meeting people.i mean if theres too many people i freak out too, but the Y holds a good amount every now and again that its free.... but so anyways after we attempted to sleep i finally came down some but was stilpretty high, i got driven home and that morning i just couldnt think a thing, my mind was blank and i couldnt say anything...i just had nothing to say....so i stayed silent...and wandered up to my room, and called up Doug to help me get weed and smoke somewith me so he did we drove to the west end and got the guud stuff and came back and blazed hard.. talked alot, got to know each other, diid some serious cuddle time. Hes sucha cool friiend, tottal ynot what i expected him but at the same time everything his character puts out to be, listening to the Weird language station, Broadway musicals, cool stuff like that, we have a lot of same views and same intrests, i love smokin pot and chillin likei did yesterday and i had so much fun.....and all day Saturday just chilled the fuck out..didnt sleep yet cuz we had to go to Sherwood park, made plans to go to the y, dropped off some stuff to Jon and Melissa to get ready and went back, and had a nap, but i was texting my gf, and i dunno even then i felt like i was still intruding on her again and thats one thing i dont like, so all day today i was kinda like should i call her, or text her, sor should i let her call me ect ect...like she needed serious space from me cuz im just that awkward...and i dont mind her not coming over tonite...i mean if she wants to she can, but i think maybe rioght now she might need some serious space....i just dont know...anyways that nap that lasted like 13 hours was pretty great, just ...Solid sleeping. it was fantastic ive never had such a good chill day in a long time...i was so like great...i want to do it again..chill out smokin all day yeah....then my gf was being awkward over slightly El phone...just not talking as much but whatever i guess....might of been off for her too. but im chillin here, gonna sleep then see if she wants to hang out tommorrow afternoon, as i come back from my interview at like 12 or so, then i'll sleep some more till she calls me and/ or comes over and or what, then maybe we'l tlak or somethin. i dunno, even today, she wasnt as cheerful as i usually see or hear her...i unno...i dont want to lose her, i really do love her...alot i aint lying and i want to make it work,..well something to get used to...we nee to start spoending more time apart possibly, cuz its gettin to the fact that i cnt sleep at night if she isnt there, so i can hear her breathing. or i can wake up next to her and just have the best day. she really is like the greatest part in any day. just her being there makes everything, but i definitly dont like the awkward turtle stuff that was goin on this weekend even till today even, it makes me feelilike i did something wrong or i said something stupid or somethingwent wrong and shes mad or something i dunno. so something we'll work out, hopefully fo rhte best... i love her so loves me apparetnly until this weekend...., but i often find it hard to gage how much a person likes me or even loves me you know so we'll see how it goes.... hopefully i dint fuck up too too bad.... :(
*sigh* With love
