shes so gone

the last two years of my life have been perfect. for me. had a girl who loved me to peices and the world could not break our bond. we had the good times and the bad times too. but it all seems a blur now that its all over. ive been single for three weeks now and everyday is a different story. some days i feeel like dying. other i want to feel really angry. some days i wish i was in a dream and it wasnt real and she hadnt broken up with me and we were going to be married. other times i look back and say was i drunk or high?? well mostly i was. mostly she mother the hell out of me and i loved it. everything was looked after. there was nothing left. i hardly had to think. and well maybe i stopped thinking long enough. she says its would be good for me. thats she was think ing about me. she dosent want to hold me back. how can she hold me back when shes not even here to hold me up? it feels like a bridge caved in arounsd my heart. everything was bliss and easy. then BAM! it falls apart. like a rusty nail gave in and destroyed everything. ruins i stand in. the dust settles and i got nothing left. shes all moved out. she moved out last friday. this week has been hell on me. coming home after work. shes not there. her cars gone. the colorful window is gone. my walls are bare. i feel empty. and she leaves behind the meaning ful cards i wrote to her as a token of her appreciation for our relationship. or as a sign she dosent want tobe bothered again down the road. she wishes to forget about me. she only wishes i would leave sooner so she can go date and fuck that anna kidd. i still thinkin there was some messing around done there. nothing can take back my thoughts. no words can be said tht will change my mind. we still hang out alot. we cuddled today. it felt good. i miss it so much. i cried again around her. i wish i was strong enough again to not cry around her. i wish i could look at her again normally. i wish i could kiss her lips. everyday i widh this was a dream and one day ill wake up and everytinbg was better agian. she was here in my arms. ill never take her for granted again. ill grow up i promise. ill be better. i want you back. @