So basically my life is crap this last three or four weeks....

.

but

wanna klnow how?

Well i'll tellyou right here right now

So i came back from Saskatoon and heard that Heather was moving out.Yay. But with not even a attempt to pay me a cent...alas i was short, and i really didnt care. Rathered her out then never paying her way.

Second a good thing this time, Twitchy wasnt really mad at me, just really busy. So that showed i was being overly parranoid at the situation and tletting my thoughts control me....

Shortly after i had a Interview with College Pro and they Hooked me up onto the painting team. So far life is going great. Trwo great jobs i can be stoked for in every way and its awesome. Got to hang with some now close friends in the park a couple times. So it was overall good good.

Shortly after my Phone starts to die and refuses to charge off my charger....its lame i didnt know what to do, so i decided i needed a new phone anyways, along with some other stuff as well....So i got my credit card working and its all good, until i go tot use the credit card and they put a hold on it. A hold on the only moeny i have left to pay my bills and rent. That whouldnt be too good, so they say send in some id and stuff...blah blah blah...so i do and yadda yadda....No credit card to help in the transition for my jobs....

Oh so my phone is dead and i cannt use it casue the battry and the back up battery are dead....so im driving around Edmonton trying to find a job site on the Saturday morning, driving around driving around,then when i ge there there all gone to the OTHER job site..!! grrr...so im kinda like getting pissed off now so i head back to the other site and finally begin work in the early afternoon....Boss tells me to get a phone fornext time so i tell her i maybe late monday morning....


Monday comes, a few friends helped me out this month and i really appreciated it or i would be on the street right now....no joke...so monday comes and im have to chase a cheque around to get this phone and such...which i do, i get my phone and its all good, or so i htink.....but i call my boss she says, dont bother....

Tuesday, i get up im on my way to work, i get to work on time 10 mins early, looking over the jobsite and shes like “Why you here?” i'm like to work....shes like you cant just show up to work anytime you want...im like, not going to argue or make excuses and wwaste my time..i let it go, and walked away...pissed off she didnt give me a chance....

So im out looking for a job with my friend Ash and i go home after and get a call o the Wednesday of my OTHER boss saying....we have to terminate your employment here....we need a strong closer you tend to fade away at the end of your shift....Oh really> you mean im supposed to be energizer bunny ffor 12 hours straight?? Wow i never go that memo, oh what do you mean i have to ASKfo rmy breaks....what do you mean your looking to hire a robot....*sigh*

so now im get really depressed over the next three days casue my life is vbasically over. Im living under a roof that wasnt even paid for by me....i have no job now at all, im all alone to drown in my thoughts and i have to keep a strong face and all i wnat to do is tlak to my best firned whos three thousand ,miles away....the worst week of my life....

And if thats not enough i keep handing out resumes and i get no calls or any leads,

AND to add to all of it, i get a letter last night saying i wasnt accepted to go to school this fall....

so im a nervous wreck waiting to explode....OR dissolve or both...

My life is over theres no point in trying , i have reached utter failure in my life and theres nothing beyond this horizon.

I didnt see any of this coming at me, and it hit me like a thousand sharp knives all over my soul....

I feel fat, and i havent eaten very much, people are trying to make me happy, but i cant really focus but all my losses anf failures....

no money and nothing seeems to be working right...what the fuck....


GRRRRR